A simple quiz

Are you

  1. A liar?
  2. Indifferent about marital fidelity?
  3. Selfish and unnaturally acquisitive?
  4. Not really arsed about disabled people?
  5. Enthusiastic about sticking your tongue up a banker’s anus?

If you answered yes to all of the above, why not become a Government Minister?


Now, I’m not the world’s most passionate guy … (Ray Davies)

… but I’m trying hard to imagine who on earth buys their
partner a ‘Hotbin compost maker’ for a Valentine’s gift.

This was a purchasing suggestion given to me by the folks at Facebook


I’m sure my wife will be delighted …

AXA saves the world (possibly)

Has anyone else seen this cynical piece of arse gravy on Facebook? The ‘like’ AXA insurance company and we’ll plant your personal Mangrove tree in Vietnam and you’ll save someone’s life campaign. http://www.facebook.com/axapeopleprotectors

To date, 4,166 trees : 758 people ‘protected’

Now there are 7,000,000,000 people in the world approximately, so by my calculations they’ve ‘protected’ around 0.000001% of the world’s population. Now not wishing to be picky, but current estimates suggest that 150,000 people die every day around the world. That’s 0.002% of the population.

In 2009 AXA made a profit of 3,543 million pounds. (£3,543,000,000)
Now I’m no genius but if each tree cost say £10, they have probably spent around £41,660 saving the planet. Or to put it another way 0.00117% of their profits which they’ll claim back against tax.

I suggest they change the company name to GLOBAL ECO-WARRIORS INSURANCE PLC and put the rest of us to shame.

And why the toss would anyone want to ‘like’ an insurance company, surely they’re a (probably) necessary evil?

Oh and by the way 96,478 delusional shit-for-brains ‘like’ them. By my estimation they should have planted 96,478 trees then?